The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare/Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso/shakes/text/13/04_03

Text File | 1991-04-10 | 5KB | 148 lines

Before 'The Porpentine'.
 Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
    As if I were their well-acquainted friend,
    And everyone doth call me by my name.
    Some tender money to me, some invite me,
    Some other give me thanks for kindnesses,
    Some offer me commodities to buy;
    Even now a tailor called me in his shop
    And showed me silks that he had bought for me,
    And therewithal took measure of my body.
    Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
    And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

                        Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

Dromio
of Syracuse    Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have you got
    the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?

Antipholus
of Syracuse    What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?

Dromio
of Syracuse    Not that Adam that kept the paradise, but that Adam that
    keeps the prison. He that goes in the calf's-skin that was
    killed for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like
    an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    I understand thee not.

Dromio
of Syracuse    No? Why, 'tis a plain case. - He that went like a bass viol
    in a case of leather; the man, sir, that when gentlemen are
    tired gives them a sob, and rests them; he, sir, that takes
    pity on decayed men and gives them suits of durance; he
    that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace
    than a morris-pike.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    What, thou mean'st an officer?

Dromio
of Syracuse    Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man
    to answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man
    always going to bed, and says 'God give you good rest'.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ships
    puts forth tonight? May we be gone?

Dromio
of Syracuse    Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark
    'Expedition' put forth tonight, and then were you hindered
    by the sergeant to tarry for the hoy 'Delay'. Here are the
    angels that you sent for to deliver you.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    The fellow is distract, and so am I,
    And here we wander in illusions.
    Some blessd power deliver us from hence!

                            Enter a COURTESAN.

Courtesan    Well met, well met, master Antipholus.
    I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
    Is that the chain you promised me today?

Antipholus
of Syracuse    Satan avoid! I charge thee tempt me not.

Dromio
of Syracuse    Master, is this mistress Satan?

Antipholus
of Syracuse    It is the devil.

Dromio
of Syracuse    Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam, and here she
    comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes that
    the wenches say 'God damn me' - that's as much as to say
    'God make me a light wench'. It is written they appear to
    men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and
    fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not
    near her.

Courtesan    Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
    Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.

Dromio
of Syracuse    Master, if you do, expect spoonmeat, or bespeak a long
    spoon.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    Why, Dromio?

Dromio
of Syracuse    Marry, he must have along spoon that must eat with the
    devil.

Antipholus
of Syracuse    Avoid then, fiend! What tell'st thou me of supping?
    Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress.
    I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.

Courtesan    Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
    Or for my diamond the chain you promised,
    And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

Dromio
of Syracuse    Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
    A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
    A nut, a cherry-stone;
    But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
    Master, be wise; an if you give it her,
    The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.

Courtesan    I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain.
    I hope you do not mean to cheat me so?

Antipholus
of Syracuse    Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.

Dromio
of Syracuse    'Fly pride' says the peacock. Mistress, that you know.
                                  [Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO.

Courtesan    Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad,
    Else would he never so demean himself.
    A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
    And for the same he promised me a chain;
    Both one and other he denies me now.
    The reason that I gather he is mad,
    Besides this present instance of his rage,
    Is a mad tale he told today at dinner
    Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
    Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
    On purpose shut the doors against his way.
    My way is now to hie home to his house,
    And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
    He rushed into my house and took perforce
    My ring away. This course I fittest choose,
    For forty ducats is too much to lose.
                                                [Exit.